We’re all just fruits...

It finally happened. One of the kids asked why their (biological) mom and dad aren’t together. It’s inevitable and the older they get the more questions they have. They know their family is “different” although in best way possible. Not many kids have two moms and two dads so it’s pretty easy for them to notice! Nothing clues them in more than the questioning/judgemental looks when just us moms take the kids out and all the kids call us both “mommy”. We’re not polygamists, part of the LGBTQ+ community, or the devil. Just some moms trying to co-parent.

So, why do they have two moms and two dads? It’s simple really... we’re all just fruits trying to find our matching fruit (stick with me- it’ll make sense at the end).

Sometimes people aren’t the same after they get married, and that’s okay! One day the kids love green beans, the next day they act as if I’m torturing them to eat them. Yesterday they liked Pokémon cards, tomorrow they’re obsessed with Marvel Comics! Tastes change as we grow and sometimes people can’t grow and change together. To show them examples of healthy relationships we stop those that aren’t healthy. That doesn’t make anyone a bad parent or a bad spouse, it makes them human! New parents in the picture help us show those healthy relationships that didn’t exist before.
Mom and dad don’t dislike each other but realized it wasn’t working anymore and decided we needed to fix the situation. And that is OKAY!

Explaining this to an *almost* nine year old ended in him teaching us a lesson in simplicity... “Daddy and mommy were both oranges then mommy turned into a banana and daddy turned into an apple. Then, daddy met my other mommy and mommy met my other daddy and they both turned into oranges again”

Find your matching fruit and be honest with your kids about it. They understand WAY more than we give them credit for and learn from us how to navigate life. Let’s give them a perception of reality that is honest

Busy and Blended

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2 "Moms" and 2 "Dads" How could we allow this??

Image
Jessi's Perspective:  If I had a penny for every time someone made the comment to me, “you let your kids call her mommy”, I could have retired on a yacht in Fiji at the age of 27. Seriously, I am not even exaggerating.   People and their opinions, never get old right? (insert eye roll). I can tell you exactly where I was standing and what time of day it was the day Heather told me that Boo has started calling her “mommy”. I can honestly tell you in that moment I wanted to scream at Jordan as to how he could allow this to happen, how could he allow betrayal to the mother of his children to happen,   and what was he going to do to fix it. It was obviously his fault right? Like he forced our 2 year to call her that, I just knew it! He wanted me replaced, he hated me and he wanted the kids to love Heather more than me. Come on divorced mommas, I know you’ve told yourself that same sentence to yourself over and over again in different occasions throughout your di...
Read more

Dare to be different

Image
 "She was in there with him and not you?" I heard this comment a couple of times when we shared our kids had been baptized. You see, divorce is meant to divide. It's designed to come in and let every negative possible outcome come in. That's what the devil wants. He wants to come in and destroy any positive thought you had about your ex spouse and any positive thought you have about anything in the future that deals with that person. This is where our lifestyle has chosen to come in and flip the script. We decided divorce wouldn't divide our kids and what they see in us.  I could steal every beautiful moment our kids walk through easily, or I can share those moments with everyone that loves them and show these babes that overcoming the odds is possible. By not stealing all joyous moments our kids aren't forced to choose a side and divide their love and attention. Instead they get to have everyone they love cheering them on with zero division in sight. I like t...
Read more

Mental Health and co-parenting (someone had to say it matters). From: Jessi

Mental health issues when you are trying to co-parent; embarrassing, yet so important to manage. I am pretty open with the fact that I struggle with depression and anxiety... a lot. No, it's not really anyone's business but when you co-parent it may be a good thing to discuss. It effects your decisions, how you talk to people, how you treat people on some days, it's noticeable to others and sometimes  you just need to shut down from people. Heather and Jordan are no stranger to my mental health because, well trust me, it has been a major problem at a particular point in time and once I figured out what was happening it explained a lot of the misery I brought to the table. This group of parents has a date (or time period) that has a dark connotation in the mental health department. It's the day I became so over whelmed with the stress of me losing my "safe space" (Jordan) whom I had a co-dependent relationship with, that I didn't know who I was without th...
Read more