My first tip for this series I definitely thought needed to be the thing I was the worst at...communication!!
Most people aren’t effective communicators when it’s something emotional to them, am I right or what? We don’t say what we mean, we dance around the topic, we word vomit, we explode when maybe all we mean is to have an effective convo.
Me personally, when I feel attacked in a conversation, I will attack right back and I will make sure my attack is another level of crazy you can’t match back 💣💣
Am I still like this today, not really. I actually have a hard time getting super angry in conversation 🙈🙈.
But, despite the emotion you have, you have to talk to the other co-parents! I know, I know, I just mentioned the unspeakable... you HAVE to figure out a way to talk.
What worked for us, at first Jordan and I had to stop being the ones who mainly talked. We still had the emotion fresh in our minds and we knew where and when to jab at each other to get what we wanted. Heather began communication with me instead. Was that super annoying at first, completely!!!!
Why did I need to talk to his new wife, she’s his deal not mine, right 🙈. So so wrong. It took awhile but it actually began to work. She was able to talk, not yell, what Jordan was trying to say behind the emotion and she did the same for me. She realized it was all emotion in the way and nothing was getting done.
But y’all have to talk about your kids! They are the center of both worlds. How their behavior is, what concerns do they have, incidents that happened at school, good stuff, funny stuff, after school activities, they all have to be talked about!! So how do y’all stay on the same page if no one is talking? 🤨🤨
Maybe it takes family counseling, maybe it takes some hard conversations, maybe it takes you putting on a brave face and speaking to that new spouse, maybe it takes a grandparent to help, maybe it’s a journal in a bookbag you talk back and forth about your child, or through email, however you can communicate until some of those wounds heal to where face to face is ok again.
But it can’t be left to the side, the kids deserve to see y’all working together💜
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