Clear up the Expectations


Ever have a conversation with someone and they are upset at you but all you can think of is, “well how was I supposed to know that; they didn’t tell me!” Then you find yourself wanting to claw your eye balls out from sheer confusion 🤪  That’s what happens when you don’t communicate your expectations!!! Mind blowing right? 🤯🤯

We have lots of parents involved and the kids spend time at each of our houses and, like I mentioned in the first tip of this series, communication has to happen, but it doesn’t stop there! You have to make clear what you need to know or what you EXPECT to know!

I was awful at this at first because my thought was, “hey I’m their Mom so as long as I know that’s all that matters”. Let me tell you that theory doesn’t work in co-parenting 😲😲 There was an expectation in my head that I expected to be told. For example: where the kids are, who’s around, how’d they sleep, insert whatever expectation you have. But, then you magically expect people to know that level of expectation without letting them know! When the ball gets dropped you’re mad at the other person, correct? 🤔

So, how could Heather and Jordan ever reach an expectation I had or Eli and I reach an expectation they had if we weren’t informing the other what it was??

Now our expectations of each other have changed over the years, and a lot of that can be attributed to trust and proving you’re a good decision maker over time. So, every time the kids leave the house or we have a new couple or friend around the kids do we expect the other to send out an alert anymore? Not really! Do we usually when it’s out of ordinary routine? Of course, because we all respect each other.

 So, next time you find yourself irritated or angry with the other co-parent, ask yourself, did I make the expectation clear and is my expectation that I set even attainable? 🤔🤔

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