Busy and Blended

Heather's Perspective Dating. *cue the anxiety* The game changed so much from before I had Bear to once I had her and was ready to potentially introduce a man into our lives. I had Bear when I was in college and waited until after I’d graduated and had a stable job as a nurse for a year before I started dating again. At that point there was Tinder, POF, Farmers Anonymous (shout out to my Father-In-Law who should try this one), and all of the other online dating sites. I swear those weren’t how people dated before! If I wasn’t good at the traditional way of dating how was an app and a profile going to help me? And what was Catfishing?!?! Y’all - apparently I’d been living under a rock!! After contemplating the likelihood that online dating would end in me on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries I figured “Why Not!” and made myself a profile on a free site. Making a dating profile taught me three things. 1. I had no idea what I wanted!! The profile asked what I was looking for in a pe...

Jessi's perspective I'm about to get real real over here y'all, are you ready? If you have ever walked away from a divorce and there are kids involved, come on women we group ourselves with our kids right? We don't want to be alone or do alone thinking so we lump ourselves with our children so we have other people who are in this situation with us so somehow we don't have to admit that this relationship was over for us (the adult) and not the children. It's a hard pill to swallow to realize that your kids are still going to be part of the life of the other parent and you aren't. I completely understand if you did this or are still doing it, you may not even notice you are doing it, but it's seriously ok to come to the realization that your kids don't follow the same path as you in the divorce journey, you guys are both your kids' parents so you have to swallow that pride pill and accept there are 2 parents. I thought I would feel the swallowin...

The New Wife Perspective (Heather) Mom-parison... I might have made that up but nonetheless I can honestly say I’m guilty of it. What is it? Well, it’s when a mom compares herself to another mom in hopes of making herself feel more secure but instead creates internal turmoil and anxiety leading to an extra glass of wine (or two - who’s counting) once the kids go to bed. Sound familiar? You’re not alone!!  We’ve all been at the park and noticed the mom whose assets may not be God-given and is feeding her clean, well-behaved child kale chips and organic juice and then realized we’re in bleach-stained yoga pants and our kid is eating sand and wearing her shoes on the wrong feet asking for McDonald’s. But, what happens when the object of your mom-parison is the same person you’re sharing parenting duties with? It can get pretty ugly pretty quick! Being step-mom I can truly say I’ve never wanted to take Jessi’s place as mom to Bubba and Boo and I never will. But that didn’t s...

The Ex wife perspective (Jessi) The toughest part for me in co-parenting was definitely ACCEPTANCE!!! I know that term sounds so freaking broad and confusing but it's true on so many levels and in so many situations. First I had to accept that my ex and I didn't want each other but that didn't mean we both didn't want the kids. Come on ladies we know when a relationship ends we all play the game in our head of "oh I guess I am a single parent now" and I perpetuated this situation into my head and forced it into our reality. I moved the kids away from him because he left right what was I supposed to do, that must mean he doesn't want our kids either right? So flipping stupid and wrong!! I had to accept in my head that it was ok for me to upset and deal with my issues but the kids had nothing to do with my anger. Next I had to accept there was another woman in this dynamic and that she was actually an asset to our situation and not this crazy ugly sea ...

Hey everyone and welcome to our blog! My name is Jessi and I am another fourth of this Busy and Blended parenting team! In starting this blog I hope we are able to share some really awesome stories of overcoming those uncomfortable moments in parenting when the parents have divorced but also share that not so fun stuff so some of you other divorced families can see you aren't alone! We probably have done all the crazy and terrible things too so join us on this ride as we still learn! In this busy family there are 5 kids!! I am pretty sure that is like having a million! Of the 5 kiddos, 2 of them are mine from a previous marriage (Heather is their Bonus Momma, read her introduction post!). Bubba is 8 and Boo is 5. I got divorced in 2015 which at the time I thought was life ending, I'll be completely honest. Later that year I met my new husband and best friend and we just recently tied the knot this past September! We do not have any children together...YET but we will get ...

Welcome to Busy and Blended!  I’m Heather - one fourth of this Busy and Blended parenting team. My goal in starting a blog is to confess our co-parenting struggles, share what we’ve learned, and learn from anyone else on this co-parenting journey!  My family consists of my husband and 4, soon to be 5, kids: Bubba (8), Bear (7), Boo (5), Ham (3) and our newest addition, Lei is due in 3 weeks. We’re blessed beyond measure!  Bubba and Boo are from my husband’s first marriage while Bear is from a previous relationship of mine. Ham and Lei are mine and my husband’s together.   We’re blended, busy, and oh so blessed!! I’m a nurse at a local hospital, currently pursuing a doctoral degree in nursing, and otherwise I spend my time doing mom-life.  With 5 kids there's always a sporting event or activity that keeps us busy.  As a family we love to be on our boat on the river or doing anything outside. My husband and I met in 2015 and were married a year late...